Jobby Jobs

I truly believe that I may have too much going on, electronic-social-networking-wise, to keep up with any of it. I forgot about this blog for a solid week. Luckily I'm the only one who reads it, so the disappointment lies solely with me.

I was thinking the other day about past employment, things I used to do to make a buck so I could buy men's jeans and pad thai and whatever else I used to be into. The list wound up sort of interesting. From first job to most recent:

1. Office clerk, Mr. Lincoln's Campground, Springfield, IL. Besides checking people into campsites, I also sold them RV toilet parts, drove around in a golf cart and filled propane tanks.

2. Retail slave, The Limited Too, Springfield, IL. I sold $40 toddler-sized suede bib overalls and mastered the folding board.

3. Retail slave, The Gap, Springfield, IL. Transferred my skills to adult-sized clothing.

4. "Summer helper," IL Dept. of Natural Resources, Springfield, IL. I did this for several summers during college. Answered the phone, did some data entry, but mainly amused my co-workers and went out to lunch at northside pubs.

5. Server, Damon's - The Place for Ribs, Springfield, IL. The barbeque sauce smell has only recently been purged from underneath my fingernails. I was not good at this job.

6. Lab Assistant, Biology Dept., UIUC. I transported bags of fly larvae, cockroaches and more complex dead animals from one campus building to another and set them up for students to stab. I inhaled a lot of formaldehyde. I proctored exams and got in fights with my boss, Carla, who was evil. I also fed the myriad salt and freshwater animals in the lab, including a spastic pirahna named Petey, and cleaned their tanks when it was necessary.

7. Student Manager, Catering and Intermezzo Cafe at Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, UIUC. I served a lot of disappointing microwaved dinners to patrons of the arts and intentionally botched the slicing of many multi-layer cakes so that they could be consumed by my co-workers and me in the kitchen. I also bartended at intermission and for private after-show events and managed catering events as well. I gave a glass of champagne to Leslie Nielsen and worked with some really great people. We created a lot of new and tasty sandwiches and cocktails in a collaborative effort.

8. Law Clerk, K&M - Chicago. Ah, the first career-relevant job. I mastered the art of filing discovery documents and motions in the Cook County courts, breezed past receptionists to judges' chambers and once shuttled multiple boxes of something via a hand truck across the Loop. I also once hand-delivered a $12 million dollar check.

9. Office Assistant, JMLS Career Services. I answered the phone a few times. No one came by at night, because the night students already had jobs.

So yeah, fun, right? And now, after all that, I am gainfully employed as a Professional, or so I am told.